I’ve always thought of procrastination as a fault…and I procrastinate a lot around the subject of my photography. Why do I do make images? What’s the point? Who really cares anyway?
Over the last month or so I’ve been taking a hard look at my images to determine which ones I should present on this website and which ones no longer add anything to my body of work. Further, I wonder how I can delve deeper into this ongoing body of work and tie it all together in cohesive group. This is a tough challenge for me as I don’t have a lot of confidence in my artistic vision – so I procrastinate…
But this week, in the midst of perusing the images on my computer I had a had a brief flash of insight…there is a faint thread that is tying it all together and I need to follow that thread where it leads me even if I don’t know where that is right now.
Then, as if the universe knew of my struggles, I came across the following passage:
Procrastination helps us to apprentice ourselves to our own particular reluctance, to understand the hidden darker side of the first enthusiastic idea, to learn what we are afraid of in the endeavor itself; to put an underbelly into the work so that it becomes a living satisfying whole, not a surface trying to manipulate us in the moment.
Excerpt from Procrastination, CONSOLATIONS: The Solace, Nourishment and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words by David Whyte & Many Rivers Press 2016
I have enthusiasm – check!
I have the seeds of a body of work – check!
And I’m scared…scared to fail, scared that the quality of my work isn’t up to the standard set by other creatives that I admire and scared that no one will care about or appreciate the work.
So here I am, out on the ledge of procrastination, ready to take a risk and giving myself the green light to follow that faint thread of cohesiveness into the underbelly of this body the work.
I don’t know where this thread will take me but I know that I will be better person, and hopefully a better and more insightful photographer, by simply doing the work and appreciating the periods of procrastination that crop up as contemplative times for growth.
Then maybe, just maybe, this body of work will eventually evolve into a “satisfying whole”.